Relationships : Connections pt. 2

Under the urging of my fine Brazilian friend, I have been asked to speak on relationships. Now the funny thing is I have not been in a true relationship since the one I was in with the mother of my kids. That should automatically disqualify me from even attempting to speak on the matter but, I actually have witnessed many successful ones and I always try to break down things around me to the simplest form. Here is a list because people know me for my lists (thanks Gavilan!)

* COMMUNICATION! - The key to any healthy long lasting relationship is *HONEST* communication. Say what you think/feel in a respectful manner.

* Start Off Right - You will not meet the man/woman of your dreams at a bar or strip club so stop it 5! All you will get is a baby mama or baby daddy and lots of headaches. Use my old adage. Nothing good can come out of bad. Really think about that.

* Treat It Like It's Brand New - They say that the best part of any relationship is the beginning or the "Honeymoon" period. This is accurate. The best way to keep this up is to be spontaneous and have lots of fun.

* They Won't Cheat....- Unless you give them reason to. Don't act suspect and be open to let your significant other know what you are doing and who you are doing it with. Make sure you also satisfy them emotionally, mentally, and sexually. If you do this, why go anywhere else?

* Cut the Umbilical Cord - STOP HANGING OUT WITH THOSE NOBODIES! Those single idiots will get you in trouble. If you are a couple, hang out with couples. You stopped being single and you should act like it. Hanging out with the fellas/ Girl's Night Out should be a RARE occasion. Not every week.

* Stay Sexy - Be healthy and exercise. The side effects are that they won't look elsewhere (as much).

* Cell Phones, Twitter, Facebook...- Burn it, delete, and delete. Want a successful relationship WITHOUT paranoia, this is the only way...

* Be a Best Friend - No secrets, help when you can and genuinely be concerned. If you don't bring out the best in them and they don't bring out the best in you Cut the Umbilical Cord. Don't even waste your time.


These are some tips that will help. Feel free to add on.

* If it doesn't work, don't feel bad or insecure. It was not a good connection and that is all. Learn from it and evolve.

Communication

I find this to be something that although we have seperate methods of communicating, we communicate in a less effective manner. It's almost like things get lost in translation. I think that the written word although powerful, can be completely misunderstood. This is not just in the written because when talking to someone a single word can be hung on to and it can create a misconception. Being that everyone is super sensetive, things can get quickly out of hand. Pride is a hell of a drug...

I consider myself to be an expert communicator. To give you a brief background, I get paid to talk. To the point that they have made me in charge of others and how they communicate. I excel in sales because of this and business is my strong point. So for the life of me I cannot understand why I experience as much difficulty as I do when I communicate with friends. Since this weekend I have basically had nothing but miscommunications and it is terrible that things are going all over the place. From the small and meaningless to pretty major. I was speaking to a very good friend about this very thing and I ended up making her very upset. She is extremely hurt by our 2 hour long phone conversation that I feel that she was hurt. I think it is not the message but the presentation that causes the confusion. Who knows though, maybe I am just rambling but I am really trying to get an idea of why it seems that there is a commnunication breakdown between me and many right now.

A Connection

This is something most people want and sometimes rarely get. Others have had it, lost it, and are trying to regain it. The way that I can personally describe it as complete comfort and energy with someone. A chemistry. Understanding of what that person is saying and thinking. Almost like reading their thoughts. Once you connect, it throws common sense and rational thoughts right out the window. It makes you forget of any barriers that you have placed because of prior experiences. It's an immediate trust. The funny thing about the right connection is that you feel this almost immediately with someone you don't know. People have often referred to this phenomenon as knowing each other in a past life or you meeting this person was meant to be. A soul mate.

I choose to be single because I have not felt that with someone up to this point. I am lying, I have felt that with someone but the issue is that there is no way in the world that we can be together. I don't even know what she feels towards me. She is someone that I cannot help but wonder how they are and want nothing but the best for, even though I know it will not be with me. I have met many great women with a lot to offer. They were attractive, intelligent, and had great personalities. I just never had that connection that I felt with this special someone. When I feel that rush that I did with someone, I will know that I am to be with her.

I do make connections all the time. Some physical and some more along the lines of friendship. I know that without a certain type of chemistry, it makes things less exciting and outright boring. It almost becomes like a feeling that once you have experienced it, you go searching for it. It is that addicting.