Wednesday, September 8, 2010

It's All About the Angles...So You Have Yourself a Stalker?

Good for you!!!! Do you know how rare it is to have nowadays?. They are one of your top fans! They say you can measure how successful you are by the amount of haters you have. Uh uh nope, I politely disagree. You can measure how successful and wanted you are by how many stalkers you have. If you have one or more stalkers, Congratulations! You now have someone wants you for all the wrong reasons and will NOT leave you alone until you beat them like they stole something. What's more loyal than that? Not much really.

In all seriousness, here are a few tips on how to avoid creating, identifying and controlling a stalker.

* Do be careful when getting to know someone - Do not tell too much about yourself, your family, location of your home, areas of leisure, and exactly where you work. This is something earned once trust is established.

* Never under any circumstance invite them to your home - Why do you think they invented hotels for? Get to really know the individual after a time period before you extend that ever so sacred invitation.

*Check how much they text, call - If all they do is invite you out after you have told them no and ask for a reason or 5 as to why, you have yourself a potential stalker. The good news is that you can always ignore them and change your number if it gets to be too much.

* Never, Nunca, NEVER hit that!!!! No matter how hot and bothered you get NEVER have sex with this potentially unstable creature. Nothing turns a somewhat annoying person into a stalker faster than working the middle.

* Be Honest - Once you have realized that they are not right in the head, just be honest and say that you are not interested in being anything else then distant friends. Very distant.

* Direct Calm Communication - Is probably the best way to stop a stalker from being a stalker. Tell them you are uncomfortable with them being everywhere you are. Calmly explain to them that those scary people you have close to you will gladly loosen a few teeth if you continue with all this coincidental running into each other

* Stop promoting where you will be at all times. - You may not be aware as to why they are always where you are at the exact same time. Please look no further than your updates. It is not a good idea to tell everyone where you will be and at what time you will be there. There is also these scary apps for cell phones that use GPS that allow people to know EXACTLY where you are at all times. That is just scary...

* Get yourself some scary crazy built people as friends. - Stalkers understand intimidation and potential threat better than calm talking at times. A few of these great people around you that like punishing idiots are a must have for the fall season. Great accessories.

* Walk around HEAVY!!! - You can't have scary crazy built friends with you at all times so I highly encourage everyone to have some type of weapon always on you. It is just a smart move now with the way things are. They don't want to hear that leave you alone talk? Ok, just go to your waistline and let off a couple of hollow tips in their direction. See how quickly they change once they had that rush of running away while their life is being threatened. This is a guarantee fix!!! Just make sure you have alerted the law enforcement (cops) of your situation. This movement is only for those that have attempted the police route and have a strong lawyer.

I know this will help and hope it entertains you as much as it does for me.

They Takin' Pictures...

I know I will be in the minority when I say that I dislike taking pictures. Every event, get together, bar, short trip, restaurant, birthday party, casual visit, and random running into has become, "Wait, let me get a picture with you." Not "can I?" or "would you like to?". Now let me be clear, I actually like the people that ask so it's not like I mind being seen with and or standing close to them. I just do not understand the need to take a picture every 2 seconds. Yes I am at a social gathering and I am publicly being seen but I don't want to take thousands of pictures of the same thing over and over again. I genuinely do not like the whole picture taking movement that has been happening for the last few years. Consider me to be a private person that enjoys company. I blame social networks such as Myspace, Facebook, and Twitter. They have created the new wave of amateur photographers and models that have no business doing so. So think about how many terrible pics you have seen lately of that chick who really thinks she is cute with her goofy look and jacked up hair with a gut in some random place and tubby over there thinks he is built so he has decided to take off his shirt being all baby oiled up for no reason.

In all seriousness, I would like to share a story with you. This actually happens a lot although people don't like to admit it. Picture this if you will, I am at a random event and I run into a married woman. She was there with a couple of female friends and I was flying solo at that time. We haven't really seen each other in a while so while her and I we catching up briefly, her friends suggest we take a few flicks. She grabs me close and after a few smiles and being blinded by the flash later, we go our separate ways. That's it that's all. Now a few hours later I see the pictures on Facebook because her and I were tagged on them without her or my consent with a certain type of caption. Now my understanding is that her husband saw these pics and thought the worst. He didn't like what she told him (the truth) and knew of me through reputation alone. Now one thing lead to another that out of respect, I will not go into details. That was an extreme case but it has been brought to my attention that his happens often and there are many fights and issues cause of it. The trust issue comes into play and it's one of those instances where not everything is as it looks.

I do think that there is an art in photography when done right. I am a big fan of art and photography as an extension of that culture. There are many photographs that are powerful and beautiful in their own right and I thoroughly enjoy them. I actually know some who are involved in the field such as Jarvis, Rocio, Thomas, and even my youngest daughter to name a few. It is cool to look back at certain places you have been and who you were there with but just like anything, all things in moderation. Don't ruin the moment because you are too busy trying to capture it.