Saturday, February 6, 2010

Valentine's Day Tips, Tricks, and all that other Ishhh....

Strictly for that "Special Someone" - This day is to be spent strictly for your Wife, Wifey, Main Chick, or Wife in Training. By no means should you invest time on your side thing. Remember, there is a reason you are not in a relationship with her and you just give her the muscle from time to time. Yes, she is built like a stallion but lacks mental power. Don't worry about the lil lady, she will be gaining a couple of jiggles while she lounges on the couch eating ice cream with a couple of her other "other women" watching movies saying, "why can't we find someone like that?" So, no worries.

Be Unique- Try to celebrate a day or two early. My advice is to pick her up after she gets out of work without any warning. Just drive right up and smile while you say, "Hello Beautiful." Then drive her back to your place and prepare her favorite foods. Don't worry if your cooking skills do not exist, she will be so moved by the gesture that it will not matter, trust me. Try to engage in conversation that consists of, "When I first met you I just FELT that you were special" and " You bring out the best in me, thanks for being in my life." You know, lie through your teeth.

Take Her For A Walk - Preferably near a nice sized body of water. Pick out a quiet spot for you guys to walk and enjoy each other's company. She will not say much cause for some reason, chicks stay quiet around large bodies of water. It is in their Genes I guess... Just hold her and feel each other's warmth. Now this is where it gets really tricky.

Judge Where Her "Head" Is- Unbeknownst to you, the lil freak might be turned on by your sudden ability to make her feel special. She might just might want to get a workout in public!!! G O F O R I T!!!! If you follow my other videos you should be in Bren Mar Park in Alexandria off of Duke St. or right off of Kingstowne in the man made lake. Lots of quiet "dark" spots to give her what she needs. If she is not into that wild stuff...

Take Her to Get Something Sweet - Go to her favorite Ice Cream Spot and make sure she gets a shake or something. Let her get her chocolate fix and her sugar rush which will be a perfect time to while in the car hand her a present that has meaning and comes from the heart. This can only be achieved if you know her and really have listened and understood to her countless conversations about her favorite subject, HERSELF. If you are anything like 95% of the men then you usually zone out and stare at her rather nice breasts and shapely bumper so if that is the case... hack into her MySpace or laptop and do some digging you little stalker. You will get A LOT of necessary info to make her day special.


Ask her to marry you or to be committed on this day
Cut your time short with her, spend as much time as SHE WANTS
Give her anything with Diamonds or Jewelry, DON'T BE THAT GUY!
Call her by someone's name
Send her a comment on MySpace with all those sparkles and Smiley Faces, Ish is disgusting!


Give her an All Day in the Spa Thingy Thing... Please say these words when you give it to her, " I want my princess to be treated as one on her special day.
Give your MaMa a Valentine's Day Present. A chocolate and a card saying, you are my "Most Special Woman" will get you right back into her will. Also if your lady sees it she will be so moved into tears she will not trip when you get home at some late hour at nigh with lipstick on your collar and smelling like another woman talking bout, you're NEXT!!!!
Be Sincere. Share with this special someone cause that day is for them.

I know this will help those that need it, whether for a laugh or romantic advice...

P.S. Notice that if you give her the spa pass, that leaves you free to "be cool" on the 14th ya digg?????

Friday, February 5, 2010


The only thing that comes to a dreamer is sleep
so why do I play the role of a wolf chasing sheep?
hoping to catch a few to earn rest that's deep
hard to get even harder to keep
deprived of 40 winks got me tossing and turning
meanwhile wheels are turning
locomotion towards a question not asked
reaching for higher learning
next day my eyes are burning
proper sleep has my body yearning
too much on my mind
regretting that I am not doing enough with short time
could be the reason I'm lyin
in search of melancholy and the infinite sadness
escaping all of this madness
wishing it was another's life
cause mine you can have this
Dyslexic so I can't learn to relax
backwards perhaps
it's the fact that
I may not wake from my nap
stop beating cease my breathing
soul slowly leaving
a shell behind
so much incomplete
all lost in my mind
body lacking heat
not quite where the truth meets
it's the longing to be complete
alone when I attempt my slumber
require the presence of another
to satisfy my inner hunger
of creating that perfect number
alas I gaze in to the darkness
in response a cold stare from the blackness
cocooning with more blankets
not able to feel any warmer...

Monday, February 1, 2010

Lost in Translation

What language do you think in? What language do you speak most frequently? Which language are you most comfortable speaking and reading in? It might not seem like a normal question but to many of us in the U.S., English is not our first language. I being born and raised in Puerto Rico, am bi-lingual but can understand about 3 more languages. Funny thing is that English is the language I am most comfortable reading and speaking in. I can not speak it too professionally but you better believe that the slang talk is in tact and it is very colorful. This fact could not be more obvious than this past Friday. I had an opportunity to spend a lovely evening with a Venezuelan/ Colombian Model. Now she is a friend of a friend and this young lady is bad to the BONE! I was not about to miss the opportunity to get to know her. I knew she was bi-lingual but seems that Spanish is the favored language. Now I don't know if it was the drinks or the fact that she had me at ease but I was speaking my native tongue all night. I still found myself having to revert back to English here and there to get certain points across at times pero por la mayoria de la noche hablamos en el lenguage de nosotros. It was afterwords that something became painfully clear. Except for when it is business related, I rarely speak my own language. Of course like my of us I drop a word here and there or a phrase when it expresses how I feel better but how come I don't speak it more? It was the only language I knew from birth til my late adolescent years so why is it not used more? About 70% of whom I deal with on my day to day are Hispanic but it is still rarely used. I think by all of us regardless of where we are from, should not loose that which makes us us. Our culture is important to be preserved in this land and one of those key elements happens to be our language. What are your thoughts on this?

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Bootleg Mickey Mouse

I don't know what it's like where you are from but around these parts (DMV), we grew up on Chuck E. Cheese's for that adolescent recreation. Really it was McDonald's and their playground but on those special occasions we went to Chuck E. Cheese's. Now if this was not available in your corner of the world, let me educate you on the fine qualities of this fine *sarcasm* establishment. It is basically a big arcade with a HUUUGE Sewer Rat dressed like a man that is everywhere you turn. If that is not scary enough they have a pretty large ball pit (no brokeback) that was pretty fun although somewhat dangerous. Aside from the nasty overpriced pizza and the expensive played out arcade games that gave you tickets when you won, it wasn't a bad way to spend a lovely afternoon. You could even use your tickets to get prizes. I once won a thousand tickets so I could get a bouncy ball and a plastic cup. Funny thing is I have never been to a Disney World/Land so I don't know what a fun time for kids is supposed to be but on a lighter note my daughters have been to Disney World twice. I regret to inform that they have been to Chuck E. Cheese's at least once. Sorry about that girls...

Nag Champa

If you want your place or some random location you happen to be at for more than a few moments to smell right, put some Nag Champa in the air. I was put on to this incense a few years back when I walked into a Cigar Shop in Caribe Hilton. I went in to pick up a few Cubans and was surprised by the scent in the air. I asked the nice attractive young lady who was running the shop ( future ex-wife material ) the name of the scent that I was enjoying and she happily put me on. So the same way she did with me, I will share with you. They have a few variations that I have come across that I use but I have to keep some secrets for myself.

1st of All....

.. There can only be 1 I am 2nd to none and won't stop til I run this 3rd rock from the sun. What up world??? This is my first entry of many to my new blog "Recreation". If you look at the word RECREATION, what does it mean to you? I like this word because it has two different meanings. One being to reinvent and the other means enjoyment. I believe this one word summarizes my philosophy and how it applies to my life. I am going to share many things with you. Most are going to be random but it will be enlightening and entertaining. So sit back and enjoy!!!! Peace and Blessings.