Saturday, February 6, 2010
Valentine's Day Tips, Tricks, and all that other Ishhh....
Strictly for that "Special Someone" - This day is to be spent strictly for your Wife, Wifey, Main Chick, or Wife in Training. By no means should you invest time on your side thing. Remember, there is a reason you are not in a relationship with her and you just give her the muscle from time to time. Yes, she is built like a stallion but lacks mental power. Don't worry about the lil lady, she will be gaining a couple of jiggles while she lounges on the couch eating ice cream with a couple of her other "other women" watching movies saying, "why can't we find someone like that?" So, no worries.
Be Unique- Try to celebrate a day or two early. My advice is to pick her up after she gets out of work without any warning. Just drive right up and smile while you say, "Hello Beautiful." Then drive her back to your place and prepare her favorite foods. Don't worry if your cooking skills do not exist, she will be so moved by the gesture that it will not matter, trust me. Try to engage in conversation that consists of, "When I first met you I just FELT that you were special" and " You bring out the best in me, thanks for being in my life." You know, lie through your teeth.
Take Her For A Walk - Preferably near a nice sized body of water. Pick out a quiet spot for you guys to walk and enjoy each other's company. She will not say much cause for some reason, chicks stay quiet around large bodies of water. It is in their Genes I guess... Just hold her and feel each other's warmth. Now this is where it gets really tricky.
Judge Where Her "Head" Is- Unbeknownst to you, the lil freak might be turned on by your sudden ability to make her feel special. She might just might want to get a workout in public!!! G O F O R I T!!!! If you follow my other videos you should be in Bren Mar Park in Alexandria off of Duke St. or right off of Kingstowne in the man made lake. Lots of quiet "dark" spots to give her what she needs. If she is not into that wild stuff...
Take Her to Get Something Sweet - Go to her favorite Ice Cream Spot and make sure she gets a shake or something. Let her get her chocolate fix and her sugar rush which will be a perfect time to while in the car hand her a present that has meaning and comes from the heart. This can only be achieved if you know her and really have listened and understood to her countless conversations about her favorite subject, HERSELF. If you are anything like 95% of the men then you usually zone out and stare at her rather nice breasts and shapely bumper so if that is the case... hack into her MySpace or laptop and do some digging you little stalker. You will get A LOT of necessary info to make her day special.
DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES!!!!!!
Ask her to marry you or to be committed on this day
Cut your time short with her, spend as much time as SHE WANTS
Give her anything with Diamonds or Jewelry, DON'T BE THAT GUY!
Call her by someone's name
Send her a comment on MySpace with all those sparkles and Smiley Faces, Ish is disgusting!
Give her an All Day in the Spa Thingy Thing... Please say these words when you give it to her, " I want my princess to be treated as one on her special day.
Give your MaMa a Valentine's Day Present. A chocolate and a card saying, you are my "Most Special Woman" will get you right back into her will. Also if your lady sees it she will be so moved into tears she will not trip when you get home at some late hour at nigh with lipstick on your collar and smelling like another woman talking bout, you're NEXT!!!!
Be Sincere. Share with this special someone cause that day is for them.
I know this will help those that need it, whether for a laugh or romantic advice...
P.S. Notice that if you give her the spa pass, that leaves you free to "be cool" on the 14th ya digg?????